Alice's Adventures in Qunderland
by T.R. Figlewitz
Summary: Alice is tired of dear ol' Wonderland. She seems to find everything predictable, even as mad as everything is. So now Alice goes to a new "land" in order to find a new place to suit her. However, she soon discovers that she is not welcome there. Her only hope is her two nephews, who have found a strange and mysterious thing indeed.
1. Chapter 1

**_Part 1_**

**_The train that doesn't have time..._**

As I ran down the road (which seemed like a thousand miles long) my heart raced at the pace of a _caucus race_. To my surprise I reached the mirror in no time. Of course, everything today has been a surprise; mostly that everyone doesn't have a face except the very person chasing me. Oh, how I wish I knew more about this strange land. It serves me right for coming on in without thinking about it at all. No wonder I'm considered impulsive back home.

"Don't you think you should just give up?" I called back to the man, "no reason in chasing me. You aren't going to catch me in..."

"Time?" the man said as he grinned, suddenly pulling on my cerulean dress. How did he get here so fast? He was so far away just a second ago.

"You don't belong here girl," he whispered in my ear "this is my world, and I don't plan on sharing it." He pushed me closer to the edge of the sheer ridge; grabbing only onto one of my arms. He had a smile, just like Cheshire.

"You're running out of time Alice."

Suddenly I thought of a way out of this predicament.

"The train doesn't have time." Just then I reached out and grabbed ahold of the train just as it came by, and in a flash I was gone. So was my fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**_She's not crazy, just mad_**

The hallways are treacherous places. Anything could happen, and murder is one of them. Not saying it would happen, just that it could. What? So talking about murder is considered creepy now? Not where I come from it's not. Oh right, the story. Ahem.

"Hey Orstall! How's your aunt doing in the asylum?" Darrell shouted across the hallway.

"Just ignore him Collin," Eli told Collin, as she knows how annoyed he gets with Darrell.

"Ah, little miss pretty wants to keep Orstall safe? How sweet?" Darrell said sarcastically. He started walking over to them, hands in pockets and a smile on his face. His head pointed directly in front of them, almost as if he was a turkey.

"What do you want…?" Eli was stopped by Collin as he moved in front of her and stood up to Darrell.

"Collin Orstall standing up to me, like every other day," Darrell stared down Collin like a lion stares it's pray (which in this case Collin really is the pray). "So how's you straight-jacketed aunt?"

"Don't talk about my aunt that way."

"Is the asylum treating her nice?"

"I said stop."

"Do they give good food, or slop to the crazy ones?"

"She's not crazy, just mad."

"Is there really a difference Collin, is there?"

"You..." just as Collin was about to blow his top off, he saw his brother in the distance of the long hallway. Andrew was shaking his head and this meant it was time to stop.

You see, Collin could have beaten up Darrell anytime, but Andrew has always stopped him. Andrew balanced out Collin. Collin was brave, Andrew was shy. Collin was tough, Andrew was weak. Collin was awkward, Andrew was cool. Both of them were mad. They say it came from their aunt (yes the one that is supposedly in the asylum), Alice.

"Well I guess that fulfills today's need to battle Darrell," Eli said to finally break the silence during their walk home. She kicked a rock out in front of here. Andrew stopped it.

"Not like we can do anything, it's what helps Collin boost his self-esteem." Andrew replied.

"Hey! I'm a person you know!" Collin complained. "I can boost my self-esteem on my own thank you very much."

Eli gave Collin a stare that meant: _no._

"Oh come on now let's not fight each other." Andrew alleged, "You know, this is why I don't like these kinds of days."

Eli and Collin gave each other stares that meant that he was right. They both knew this was true, that they did fight often.

"We're sorry Andrew," Eli and Collin replied.

"Good. Now we better get inside before the storm comes." Andrew acknowledged.

"What…" Collins words were stopped by a down pour of rain. Andrew has always had a way with the weather.

**_No way on, and no way off_**

The Train was going fast, and it seemed impossible that I was still holding on. Trying the best I could to look inside the train, I moved my feet very careful. For one wrong move and I'll fall into oblivion. As anxious as I was, I made it to a window.

Insects, it had to be insects. There's Grasshoppers, butterflies, and all the other different creatures that were on the Looking Glass Train.

Except this time they are how they would be in reality. Of, course they don't have faces. Nothing has a face here. That one man did, and I think he has something do with everyone else not having one.

_Bzzzzzzzz!_ says one of the insects, and it nearly jumps me right off this train. Now I understand that this place is a small turn from Wonderland. It is very similar, but different. Everything here is not as stable, not as sane.

Ignoring everything else, I really need a plan of what to do. Right now all I can do is waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Tea time is not the time for fighting_**

Collin and Andrew live in a two stories, 4 bedrooms, 2 and 1/2 baths, Victorian styled home. This house used to belong to Alice's Parents when she was little. She always said there was a certain wonderfulness about the estate. But now, all the land and gardens have been claimed by the city to make more houses in the area. It's not what it used to be.

"It's almost 6 o'clock." Andrew implied, "I better get the tea ready."

"Why do we always have tea-time?" Eli pondered, "It's not like we're civilized royalty."

"Don't question tea-time Eli," Collin said seriously, "Andrew always has to have his daily rituals."

"He's right," Andrew answered. "Now do you want black or green tea?"

"Not like I care," Eli whispered to herself.

Andrew poured the hot water into their cups, along with black tea tea-bags. He gave Eli a gaze as her stirred his tea with his spoon. Eli took her sip very slowly, almost as if she was scared of Andrew. This is probably true.

"Hey I'm going upstairs to get my…uh…book?" Collin silently left without any word from Andrew and Eli. They both seemed to be in their own world, including an intensive stare-down.

Collin went up the stairs to his bedroom, not to get a book, but to get away from the other two (which by now you might have guessed was his real reason). Both of the brother's rooms had the same sort of layout, but with different themes. There is a bed in the top-right corner, a window to the back of the room, a desk to the left, and a dresser in the bottom-right corner.

Collin had a red color scheme, and most of his posters were of music bands he liked (his mother wouldn't let him have posters of woman because she said it disgraced females). Andrew on the other hand, had a blue color scheme, with pictures of famous writers and acknowledged musicians.

Upon entering, Collin discovered a strange looking book on his desk. On it were the words, "To death and life do we grant our madness to serve and protect those, who live and die in the course of gratitude and ingratitude under the code of solemn rights to the citizens of Qunderland, and those of other lands. –T.R. Figlewitz". Collin read it over many times for it did not make any sense at all. He then took the book back downstairs to show everyone else.

"Tea time is a time of peace and honor!" Andrew shouted.

"I don't give a damn about your idiotic 'Tea-Time'!" Eli bawled out. "All you are is blazing mad!"

"I'll murder you Elizabeth Mezler if you don't take that back right now!" Andrew yelled. "And I will also tell Collin…"

"Tell me what?" Collin asked unaffected by all the screaming going on.

"Collin!" Eli said shockingly. "I can see you brought your book."

"I can see that you two have been fighting," Collin replied, "over tea."

"It is a very serious matter." Andrew answered proudly. Collin pointed at the clock and Eli and Andrew both felt stupid. It was an half an hour past the end of tea time.

**_Feeling of falling upwards_**

The train is actually starting to bug me. Not just because there's annoying, ravenous bugs outside of it, mostly because it just won't come to a stop. I've been holding onto this rail for almost an hour now and there has been no place that seems suitable enough to jump off. Even when I passed the waterfall it still seemed to be dangerous.

I look up and to my surprise there's a bottle on the roof of the train. I take it down and stare at it for a while. Now I'm thinking it has some sort of property like the bottles in Wonderland. I take a small sip and instantly feel a dreadful taste in my mouth.

"Poison," I said. "It would just be another thing trying to kill me."

Suddenly I feel a surge of shock throughout my body. I begin falling down towards the ground as I train passed by overhead. My eyes are still staring up at the sky, and the gravity pulls me down to the earth. Although for some reason I'm feeling as though I'm not falling, but instead going up. Well as I said many, many years ago, "Curiouser and Curiouser."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for taking so long to update the story. I was really busy with something called "living a life".

**_Nothing as confusing_**

"What is this book?" Andrew asked. "It looks, odd."

"Well," Collin said confusingly, "I was kind of hoping you could tell me." He gave Andrew a smile.

Collin dropped the book on the mahogany table and all was silent for a moment. For some odd reason everyone seemed to have nothing to say. The green curtains stayed still, the wind and air not whispering as they seem to normally do.

"Ummm…" Eli whispered quietly as though she was trying to say something but couldn't. There was just silence, silence and nothing more. Collin then just stared at the book with a confused look on his face.

"I think the cover changed." He said turning his head left and right. "It used to show some sort of weird oath. Now it says 'Turn the page you idiot'." He seemed to be almost offended, thinking the comment was meant for him.

"A book can't just change, right?" Eli asked.

Without a word Andrew turned the page and found that the very first page was filled with text. He then started reading.

_Hello there my friends, I am truly grateful that you finally opened me up. I thought that my old cover would get you lot interested in opening me, but I guess teenagers don't…_

"Okay this is getting too weird." Eli said and took her hand to close the book.

"Wait." Collin spoke with a curious tone. "Eli, let Andrew finish." Andrew continued on.

_But I guess teenagers don't pay much attention to books these days. Anyways, something is about to happen. You two boys are going to have to come with me and leave this world for a while. Your aunt is in a very dangerous situation and I'm supposed to help her. However, as you can see I'm stuck as a book for now. Don't worry though, because I will help you in any way I can. Besides, if anything goes wrong you probably won't be missed very much. Not saying you won't be missed, just that not many people will miss you. So be prepared, at anytime, anywhere, for just about, anything. _

"Well who ever this is from they are the biggest jerk in the world" Andrew angrily stated as he closed the book tightly.

"What did, it, say about our aunt?" Collin requested, "And which aunt?"

Just then the book opened up by itself and started burning up into flames. The whole room was completely black, despite the fact that there was a large fire in the center of the room.

"What the hell is going on?" Eli shouted

"I don't know!" Collin screamed, almost like a little girl. Eli stared at him very suspiciously.

The fire grew bigger and started to turn into a vortex. It engulfed the book and the floor around it. Suddenly it went down into the ground and grew even more ginormous.

_Jump…_

A small voice passed through the air and the boys heard it. They both looked at each other and nodded.

"Guys?" Eli asked in as frightened tone.

Both Collin and Andrew grabbed each other's hands and took a leap. The fire vortex then seemed to 'eat' itself and disappear.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Eli said and stared open mouthed at the ground.

**_Advice from a dead caterpillar_**

My body finally got back to functioning properly. I try to lift my torso up, but felt an intensive pain run down my spine.

"It had to be poison." I said out loud with no one around. I look around and seemed to have landed in a forest. The forest is not ordinary; nothing can be ordinary here though. There are mushrooms all around, just like back in Wonderland. The difference is that here, all the mushrooms are dead. It actually makes me feel bad.

_Who are you?_

I hear a faint whisper and immediately identify the person.

"Caterpillar," I said in a very low manner. "Where are you, you useless insect."

_Come to me…_

"No, I don't feel like doing so you…" I began to talk but was cut off by the sound of a screech and someone with a leather glove grabbing my mouth. I kick back my leg and hit something hard.

"Damn woman!" the man (I think) yelled. "When did you learn to kick like that Alice?"

I turn around and find it to be a person I know very well.

"Hello Hatter." I expressed to him with a bit of hatred.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Part 2**_

"_They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here: the great wonder is, that there's any one left alive!" – Alice, from Lewis Carroll's __Alice's Adventures in Wonderland__._

**Alice**

"Alice, Shhh!" Hatter whispers to me covering my mouth again with his horrible tasting black leather gloves. I think to pull his hand off my mouth, but instead punch him. Oops.

_Scraaaaaooo!_

We hear another large and strange screech from deep in the deceased mushroom forest. Hatter touches his face with pain, which he very much deserves.

"You see why you have to be quiet?" He tells me.

"You see that I'm not scared of many things?"

"Why are you so frustrating?"

"You've known me since I was young; I've always been this way."

"Yes and such an annoying child you were."

"Oh, and your just so wonderful!"

"Not as wonderful as you," Hatter grabs me by my waist and pulls me towards him. I let his and my lips touch for a second, waiting to push away. I have already had enough, and I push him down and slap him to his senses.

"I left Wonderland and you a long time ago," I stated. "I do not want to be a part in either of them anymore."

"Alice you don't belong in this place," Hatter says sadly. "I miss you so…"

"No!" I shout. "I have left and that is final." I start to walk away from him, with my temper boiling like a hot pot of tea.

"Bye Alice," Hatter murmurs from far away. I don't care for him anymore. My mind has been made up. Nothing is going to change it. We used to have, _loved_, each other, but not anymore. I couldn't handle the same-old never-changing world of Wonderland. So I decided to leave. Guess I forgot to tell someone that I was done with them.

"Hatter I'm…," I speak while I turn around, but it's too late.

**The Orstall Brothers**

The fire spiraled around the brothers, surrounding them in a thick flame. Fire of all sorts of colors burned through their clothes. Red, blue, purple, and all sorts of different shades flashed passed by them. Falling and falling, was all they could do. If they moved even the slightest inch then the skin on their body would surely come clean off. Nothing could make someone more terrified and anxious than the position they were in.

- Blackout -

Their eyes finally started to open up. At first they thought it was night time, but slowly and carefully they got up off the muddy ground.

They both took a look at their surroundings. Marshland was the only thing they could see between them and the horizon. Still shocked from what just happened, not one of them spoke a word.

"What," Collin said, trying to speak something more.

"I, I, I, don't even know," Andrew spoke in a very feminine manor.

"Why do you sound like a girl?" Collin asked

"No reason," Andrew answered very suspiciously. Collin and he then took another look at their surroundings. There were no bugs like marshes usually have. There were actually barely any animals at all. Just nothing living seemed to be anywhere.

"Where are we?" Andrew questioned himself. Andrew looked at his clothes and surprisingly found them dry. Even as he started to walk through the rough and muddy marsh, they were still as dry as the wind.

"_Open me…"_

Collin looked around searching for source of the whisper, and found the book from the house floating on the water (if you consider it water).

"How the hell did this get here?" Andrew inquired to Collin.

"Maybe it came through the, whatever with us," Collin suggested. They seemed to agree, but a question puzzled them. There were flames in the vortex thingy. A book would have burned in it. Also, neither of them remembered seeing it during the trip of flames.

"_God damn it open me you little…"_

Andrew picked up the book and listened (what sane person listens to a book?) to its instructions. He started reading, again.

_You boys never listen do you? Never mind that. Look, I know you're probably really confused and astonishing from the whole, going through an ignis vortex thin, but I can explain._

"What's _ignis_?" Collin asked

"It's the Latin word for_ fire_," Andrew replied

_Now, first of all let us get down to a first name basis. My name is T.R. Figlewitz. Yes that is the name Collin say on the quote that used to be on the first cover. That was an oath made by Lord that I had to say when I first came to Qunderland. Little did I know Lord was not a very kind-hearted gentleman._

_After causing a series of problems here I was banished into the form of this book, only able to speak through my writing. Then the next trouble maker came. It was your dear aunt Alice._

"What?" Andrew pondered. "Alice is here?"

"Keep reading." Collin demanded.

_Yes, Alice is here, but she is in a large fruit basket of trouble._

"Fruit basket?" they both said confusingly.

_Don't mock my metaphors! Anyway, I heard rumors that Alice has been going around and stirring up some trouble. I learned they were true when she recently came to Lord's castle to sneak a peek. _

_Lord had put me in the dungeon to make sure I couldn't escape. He is very paranoid over everything. So there I saw her, as she ran down the corridor, trying to get away. That's when I knew I had to get her some help. _

_When Alice ran she left a bottle of Cheshire Tea. She found it while searching Lord's bedroom. It used to belong to me, but e had confiscated it. Cheshire Tea lets you disappear to the destination you desire; anywhere in the universe. So when it dropped and broke I hoped for it to come towards me, and that it did do._

_Many stories of Alice's have been passed on. One said her nephews were as mad as her. I believed in it, and desired to go to her nephew's room. I guess that catches you two up to speed._

"Well that took forever," Andrew commented.


	6. Chapter 6

**Alice**

Hatter had left, and I now feel guilt streaming through my body. I never did tell Hatter that I was going to leave, or that we were through. Strangest thing is that, when Hatter left, the screeching stopped. Also, I'm feeling kind of tired. A moment ago I had a lot of energy. Guess… I…

"_Alice! Wake up Alice!"_

My eyes are starting to close, but I hear someone's voice in the distance. Suddenly my eyes close completely and open up again. I'm paralyzed with fear as I see my surroundings.

Down below Hatter is swinging a sword, while I lay in a creature's mouth. Sharp teeth, scale features, and strange limping arms lead me to the conclusion that I'm lying in the mouth of a creature equivalent to the Jabberwock. Of course it is probably a million times worse.

"God damn it Hatter!" I scream to him. "How the hell did this happen?"

"I was leaving," Hatter says trying to explain and attack the monster at the same time, "but I then thought about trying to convince you to take me back. When I turned around, the monster was drooling on you, and you fell asleep. It picked you up in its mouth, so I drew out my sword and have, been trying, to, kill it!" Hatter slashed at its throat and purple blood starting leaking out. Its jaw's grip released me, and it started to fall towards the ground.

"I got you!" Hatter hollered from below, as I fell into his arms. Gently and slowly my feet touch the ground, and hatter takes a long time to let go of my waist. I wipe off dust from my dress, and leave the drool alone for the moment.

"Thank you for saving me." I say to Hatter

"No problem," Hatter replies "Alice."

"Yes?"

"About how I wanted to, get back together."

I sigh. "Look Hatter, right now I'm just trying to stay alive. I can't be in a romantic relationship. My top priority is getting out of here."

"Well my top priority was getting here, getting back together with you, and leaving together."

"The leaving together part I'll do."

"There might be a slight problem with that." hatter muttered. "I dropped my pocket watch on the way here. That was my way out."

"Are you really that stupid!?" I yelled at him. "You won't last a day here, and I can't help you and me at the same time!"

"Well you won't have to, because I know another way out." He said nervously. "We can ask Lord to let us out."

"Who's Lord?" I asked him

"He's the only person with a face" Hatter answered. I now remembered who he was, and I don't think he will let us out so easily.

**The Orstall Brothers**

"So a book, who used to be a person, went to us for help, in getting our aunt, who is supposedly in danger, leaving from this place, which is called what now?" Andrew asked while his brother tried to follow what he just said.

_This place is Qunderland, where all things too dangerous for all of reality lie. It is equivalent to Wonderland, where all things too mad for all of reality lie._

"Wonderland?" Collin pondered. "Isn't that the place Alice told us stories about?"

"Yes," Andrew confirmed. "I guess all those stories were true."

_Precisely correct. Now, what we need to do is find Alice, and get us the hell out of here. The first one is easy, while the second one is going to be extremely difficult._

"Yes, finding Alice is going so easy." He said sarcastically.

_She is in the forest of dead mushrooms with the Mad Hatter going towards... Lord's Castle. Okay maybe finding Alice is going to be hard after all._

"Why?" Collin questioned. "What's so bad about Lord?"

_Let's see… 1, he will murder you two on the spot. 2, he will murder me on the stop. 3, he is the only thing that reality finds too dangerous. Everything else here is part of his imagination. A dark and tainted imagination it is._

"Well that just about does it." Collin stated "I'm going to die here."

_Most likely you will. Only about 30% you will live._

"You are such a jerk!" Andrew exclaimed

_I get that a lot. Anyways, we will have to go through the bog, and then somehow get on top of the plateau. That would take about, what, two days? Maybe three days?_

"Two or three days?" Collin said surprised "We don't have any food, supplies, and I'm definitely not drinking this water." He scooped up some of the bog's water. After examining it, he found it to be filled with dirt and algae.

_Well the only other way is to go through Deadlan', and I don't know where to get a blimp. _

"I don't even want to know why we need a blimp" Andrew declared.

_Off we go then?_

"Off into certain death." Collin whispered to Andrew. They both chuckled silently.

_What did you say?_

"Nothing," said Andrew as he closed the book. The brothers started walking (more like wading) into the swamp where death could be just under their noses, or above them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Alice**

I'm very tired of all this walking. This forest is so dull and large. Unlike the other places I have been in this deadly land. Even though I'm sure I'll get out of here alive, Hatter might not last the trip. I fear I will be responsible for a death I may never allow myself to forget.

"Hey!" Hatter called from behind. He was resting on a log. "You want to take a break?" I nodded back and started walking to him. I sat at the base of a mushroom.

"How much further is the castle from here?" I asked Hatter.

"Well, we have been walking for about an hour." He said. "So, we should be there in the evening, if we don't encounter more trouble." Hatter stares at me as if he was waiting for me to agree to his "commitment" of staying out of trouble. It's not my fault things here want to murder me.

"Have anything to eat?" I inquire.

"No," He answers as he grabs a bit of the mushroom behind him. "We could eat the mushrooms."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I tell intently. "Last time I drank something here I was paralyzed. Something tells me the food here will do the same." He drops the bit of mushroom in disgust. I give out a long and loud yawn, and start to lie under the shade of the dying mushroom. My eyelids close as the world around me starts to disappear into blackness.

I start to wake up, slowly opening my eyes I notice that I'm not under the mushroom anymore. I touch around me to find I'm enclosed in a leather bag. Kicking and kicking the bag, finding that this leather is very strong and durable. Not saying that leather is not durable, just that this leather seems more durable than normal leather. Oh god I sound crazy.

"Stop squirming!" a man yells from outside the bag.

"I'll stop squirming if you let me out!" I yell back to him.

"Let them out!" another man calls from farther away. "Make sure they are tied up. We don't want them escaping." Two men bring me out of the bag; both are muscular and seem to be guards. They hold me by a rope tied to my hands. I look up to the man who called to let us out. Lord, we meet again.

**The Orstall Brothers**

The brothers were now deep within the bog. Nothing alive seemed to show up yet, besides the trees of course. Everything felt as still and silent as a forest. Except, a forest doesn't have trees with vines and water up to your waist.

"Wait!" Andrew whispered. "I think I saw something!" Andrew paid close attention to one of the trees. In a flash a snake jumped out from the vines into Collin's arms. It swiftly slithered around him, as Collin tried to throw him off. Finally the snake was flung into a tree branch, watching the boys with a mysterious glare.

"Sorry to alarm," said the snake in a surprisingly proper voice. "I only mean to warm you. Go back, while you still can." The snake coiled from one tree branch to another. Soon he came onto Andrew's arm. Unlike Collin, Andrew was surprisingly calm, or at least calmer than Collin.

"Why should we listen to you?" Andrew questioned the snake.

"Because I know of the danger ahead," it remarked. "I know what you know you do not know but yet you act like you know what only I know and the dead know."

"This snake is crazy." Collin implied. "Let's just go on ahead.

"No!" Andrew said furiously. "I trust him."

"Why?"

"It's the circle of life."

"What?"

"If the snake warns of a danger then we avoid the danger so that the danger does not get to benefit from us, but instead we benefit the snake." Andrew cunningly replied. Collin stared at him with a blank expression.

"I have no idea what you just said," He stated.

"It's just logic," Andrew added. The snake twisted its way around the boys, circling them through the thick slush of mud.

"The name is Sir Karalyz. My wife is the "danger" I speak of that lies beyond the cave entrance just a few steps from here." Sir Karalyz then slithered his way north into the fog. Without command the brothers followed him and swung their bodies side to side trying to make their way through the bog.

"Who is your wife?" Andrew asked.

"The snake with the red lipstick." He muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh… Mrs. Karalyz." He answered in tone which sounded like a lie to the brothers. Andrew could only make out the words "snake with" and "lipstick" from Sir Karalyz's earlier remark.

"We are here," Sir Karalyz said mysteriously. "Since you seem intent on dying at the hands of my wife instead of me then go on ahead. Nothing is stopping you."

"Except fear." Andrew stated and in an instance Sir Karalyz was gone and the brothers were left alone.


End file.
